Phil Jackson
Yeah we know what you're thinking: his lips are too thin and maybe his necks a little scrawny for talking to the little man. Now think beyond Phil Jackson the successful NBA coach, think of Phil Jackson the person. You know the Dali, Buddha, Astro Projection Dude. This is the guy that every season assigns a book for each player to read and then give a verbal book report. This year Lamar Odom's was the ingredients to a Nestle's Crunch Bar, rumor has it he reads a lot more now. But we digress, just imagine Phil's groovy hippy free love attitude tutin' your flute. Hell, with his Hindu ways he's probably playing with your balls or has his finger up your ass. This alone squeaks him into the top five.
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